Get Good At Losing
We all like to win, there is no doubt about that. Winning is what a competitive capitalistic society is about. On the other hand, we have to admit that most of us fail our way to any kind of success we may achieve. To be a winner, society would have us believe we need to pursue a romantic relationship successfully and a career choice as well. When are those endeavors ever without a fair amount of tribulation, failure and loss? If you are successful in both arenas of romance and career, you are definitely considered a winner.
Statistically most of us aren’t lucky in love and neither do we necessarily enjoy our career choices, a good part of the time. Most of us will not be winners in much of this life. Most of us will have to give into the fact that we are joining the ranks of the ordinary. That’s not to say we are losers. We need to face the facts that life is chuck full of failed attempts, from over baked casseroles to not making that hair-pin turn. We will often fail at getting our points across. Many of our plans are cut short. We miss understand much of what passes in front of us and the rest is lost to a poor memory. At the risk of sounding negative, I have to acquiesce to the human condition. Not a single part of this life will be repeated, meaning each moment is lost to the next, never to be lived again. The only repetition will be found in the patterns we form because we are creatures of habit. People living part of their lives in isolation, due to their lack of social and emotional skills, is becoming common place.
This is where we can appreciate Emotional Intelligence (E.Q. for short). E.Q. has come to the public’s rescue in way of a huge resource towards understanding ourselves emotionally. It prepares us to accept life on life’s terms, to face our fears and feel our emotions.
Our ability to recognize, understand and direct our emotions dictates the quality of our lives. It teaches that we will have many losses in this life and how to be flexible towards change, to resiliently survive those loses. It teaches confronting skills and how to build intimate relationships while working through the tough times. Most importantly it shows us how to accept loss, knowing that the longer we live, the more losses we will have accumulated. If you live long enough, you can be promised to outlive your loved ones, your finances, your mobility and of course ultimately your health. These will all be situations involving loss, not mentioning the changes and needed adaptations they will require. So it definitely seems to me that we had better learn how to be good at something, even if we never receive one accolade. We better get good at losing.